I’ve only just come to this post today and thank you so much Wendy for your words and the reminder of Nick Cave’s words too….so very very moving and alive, stirring.
I’m following threads too, setting up an altar to the dead, feeding them, thanking them, praising them, tending them. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m just feeling my way and quietening the inner voices, following the deeper knowing. Questions arise.
How is it that you can grieve deeply for those alive as well as for those who are dead? I realise I am grieving for my son but who’s to say how any one of us should be in this world? Am I grieving for a pre-formed idea of this person I’ve lost, who has changed, who sometimes shows the old loving kind, funny version of himself or sometimes these ever-changing characters I don’t know, challenging, wise, unkind.
Finding my own long way through all my social brain washing, Trusting, trying not to resist, anchoring, letting go, allowing and holding to awareness and the present moment. At times it feels like sailing on turbulent seas on a ship tossed this way and that, not knowing whether to get off, walk away and give myself peace or hang on in there as this is life and life demands perseverance, commitment and courage to find the peace within. If I truly hold Love in the highest esteem which I do then live it!
Anyway I’m reminded of a dream, I think I see it’s significance…. an earthquake erupts violently splitting the earth beneath our feet, hurling objects unpredictably, I’m afraid, shouting warnings to no avail, my son is hit by flying debris…dies and changes form, becomes anonymous just like all the other black cars bobbing in the water. Then comes a feeling of calm realisation peace and a deep sense of loss as I let go.
It has been so restful to have uninterrupted time, watching branches bob, leaves quicken as wind gusts her breath in and around the house. And more about Nick Cave’s words another time…..
This is a beautiful reflection/musing. Thank you for writing here. and sharing so vulnerably and deeply. We're touched. Very moving to turn toward rather than away. Yes, we hear you,"How is it you can grieve for those alive as well as for those who are dead?" Indeed. So many of us are currently experiencing life like a kind of walking dead/ghost? We think of this as also an expression of Earth. We wonder too if there is also a part of you dying/dead and tending your own dying/death as you step deeper now in your descent in Pilgrimage of Soul to 'the truth at the centre of the image you were born with' as you shed old stories of who you identified as all of you.
Such a gift of an Earthquake erupting violently dream shaking life/death up from Dreammaker which seems very timely with the current 'Living Sanctuary' Weekly Practices 46 and 47. Invitations to wander as invited therein with this beauty horror dream ... cars bobbing, branches bob ...
Thank you for staying with it, bringing forth and speaking here. A journey so many are needing to make and you are being met by Mystery's trusting guides, so very real amongst false worlds.
I’ve only just come to this post today and thank you so much Wendy for your words and the reminder of Nick Cave’s words too….so very very moving and alive, stirring.
I’m following threads too, setting up an altar to the dead, feeding them, thanking them, praising them, tending them. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m just feeling my way and quietening the inner voices, following the deeper knowing. Questions arise.
How is it that you can grieve deeply for those alive as well as for those who are dead? I realise I am grieving for my son but who’s to say how any one of us should be in this world? Am I grieving for a pre-formed idea of this person I’ve lost, who has changed, who sometimes shows the old loving kind, funny version of himself or sometimes these ever-changing characters I don’t know, challenging, wise, unkind.
Finding my own long way through all my social brain washing, Trusting, trying not to resist, anchoring, letting go, allowing and holding to awareness and the present moment. At times it feels like sailing on turbulent seas on a ship tossed this way and that, not knowing whether to get off, walk away and give myself peace or hang on in there as this is life and life demands perseverance, commitment and courage to find the peace within. If I truly hold Love in the highest esteem which I do then live it!
Anyway I’m reminded of a dream, I think I see it’s significance…. an earthquake erupts violently splitting the earth beneath our feet, hurling objects unpredictably, I’m afraid, shouting warnings to no avail, my son is hit by flying debris…dies and changes form, becomes anonymous just like all the other black cars bobbing in the water. Then comes a feeling of calm realisation peace and a deep sense of loss as I let go.
It has been so restful to have uninterrupted time, watching branches bob, leaves quicken as wind gusts her breath in and around the house. And more about Nick Cave’s words another time…..
Thank you Wendy and Love ❤️
Dear Shona,
This is a beautiful reflection/musing. Thank you for writing here. and sharing so vulnerably and deeply. We're touched. Very moving to turn toward rather than away. Yes, we hear you,"How is it you can grieve for those alive as well as for those who are dead?" Indeed. So many of us are currently experiencing life like a kind of walking dead/ghost? We think of this as also an expression of Earth. We wonder too if there is also a part of you dying/dead and tending your own dying/death as you step deeper now in your descent in Pilgrimage of Soul to 'the truth at the centre of the image you were born with' as you shed old stories of who you identified as all of you.
Such a gift of an Earthquake erupting violently dream shaking life/death up from Dreammaker which seems very timely with the current 'Living Sanctuary' Weekly Practices 46 and 47. Invitations to wander as invited therein with this beauty horror dream ... cars bobbing, branches bob ...
Thank you for staying with it, bringing forth and speaking here. A journey so many are needing to make and you are being met by Mystery's trusting guides, so very real amongst false worlds.
~ Earth Blessings to you, and your kin, <3
Wendy